I’m switching gears a bit from the past few posts due to current circumstances. How do I put this gently? I’m not sure I can. Okay, out with it then… I cut my own hair. I have for years now. But my trusty old Wahl clipper is malfunctioning badly and I need to find a cheap replacement today, because it quit in mid-haircut yesterday and I have to work tonight.
The situation’s not as dire as it sounds, since I’d only just started cutting, and had made even progress on both sides. Nothing’s touching my ears now, at any rate:
Still, the back needs work and I hate to leave things like this half-done.
I should probably back up and fill in a bit here.
Back more than a decade ago, we were living in Fort Myers, Florida, for reasons which seemed to make sense at the time. Due to the warm climate and my thick mop, I was looking at a frequent-flier type relationship with a barber shop. But money was so tight then, and I was having trouble finding someone I could go to consistently and trust not to impose their own agenda. We also had two young boys at the time, and regular haircuts for them were going to pinch the budget as well. So I got an idea, and one one day I found an old Wahl clipper with two attachments at a yard sale for $1. I took it home, cleaned and oiled it, and it ran just fine.
I kept things short and simple then, and for years afterward. I kept The Boys looking reasonably civilized, too. Finally, My Dear Wife convinced me that I should grow it out a bit. I realized I could grow the top long and keep the back and sides short, thus keeping my neck and ears free (it’s a sensory thing). In short, I’ve been to a barber maybe a dozen times in as many years, and gotten fairly well-accustomed to the convenience and savings of a DIY haircut.
Sometimes, though, the home version won’t quite “cut” it. Last month when I was interviewing for The Fabulous Job with The Engineering Company, I realized I should have a proper haircut, so I went to the barber downtown and he got things set to rights. He evened the top and tapered the sides, and I was quite satisfied. Had I gotten The Fabulous Job, I might have become a regular there.
Guess what really happened? You may already know. I didn’t get The Fabulous Job, so I don’t have The Fabulous Income. Instead, I got another restaurant job, which will be fine once things get going. Meanwhile, The Mop That Roared is encroaching on the rest of my head, and I need to take action.
TO THE THRIFT SHOP, ROBIN!!